Feb 14, 2009


I had some good mind wander deep thinking going yesterday wile I was building some bikes at work. I was thinking about my wife's and my sobriety. I was having a hard time relating to her being a friend of Bill W. It is awesome to have a place to turn to help keep her clean. I know that it is her thing a big force in her life. I had a different type of group to help keep me clean when I decided that my life was not going the way that I thought it should. My group was my friends. They were so snowed by the so called "Modern World" that kept them thinking that Drugs and alcohol is just part of life. I don't think that falling down drunk and staying up for days on meth getting arrested for numerous drug related reasons is what I would consider to be a part of everyday life. Seeing them destroying there lives, minds and bodies was good motivation to stay clean, I grew to despise and get angered at the thought drugs and alcohol. So much that I would not take cold meds or take Tylenol for a headache. I had a very good friend that would take me away from every thing and everybody to help me clear my mind and get my priorities straight......My fucking bike! To be honest I think my bike was the thing that really kept me clean and out of jail for many years.

My group friends from back in the day are now split up some still are either on meth, drunks or in jail which really make me feel saddened but some turned there lives around and are living "normal lives." Those that have turned their lives around all had someone to help them around. Weather it was a friend(lady), family or child that really helped. I have been that person on three occasions without even knowing it. When they told me that I was overwhelmed, I felt like a huge weight was put on my shoulders and the slowly lifted, why me..... that feeling was the same every time I was told. After we would discuss everything I always felt like how did I not know I was helping them and thinking that I should have done more. Knowing that truly help someone is a indescribable feeling. After all that thinking I could relate to having something or someone to keep life moving as cleanly as possible.
I will been sober for nine years this august. I sill ride to keep me on the right track but I also have a loving wife, family and friends to keep me rolling.

1 comment:

Ben said...

Wow! I guess I never realized. I am excited for you to be on board with us. I can't wait for summer.